Even Dr. Sears agrees:

Who is behind this new national campaign to warn parents not to sleep with their babies? In addition to the USCPSC, the Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association (JPMA) is co-sponsoring this campaign. The JPMA? An association of crib manufacturers. This is a huge conflict of interest. Actually, this campaign is exactly in the interest of the JPMA.

We have seen these same tactics within the car seat industry for YEARS. Few people actually know studies have proven that past 2 years of age car seats provide no better protection from death in an auto accident than regular old seat belts. But no one makes money when you use the manufacturer seat belt so they skew studies and harp on one stat among many, so that they can get laws passed that require car seats and pad industry pockets. This Milwaukee campaign is no different. They are using a city government to spread their message… “Co-sleeping kills, buy a crib.”

Don’t fall for it and don’t let them get away with it. We need to be vocal about all the ways to make co-sleeping safer and of course be honest that it is not attached, attentive parents who lose a baby to co-sleeping. Rather it is typically inattentive parents who are under the influence of alcohol or other substances and then in their stupor roll over on their infant. When I co-slept with all 3 of my babies I felt even the tiniest flutter and movement, even while I was seemingly asleep. That is our mommy instincts… the ones ingrained in us since the dawn of civilization, when people always slept with their babies!

But just to make sure, here are some tips for making co-sleeping safe.

• Use a firm mattress for the family bed, no lumpy featherbeds or waterbeds.
• Sheets and blankets should tight and fitted.
• Layer clothing rather than blankets if it is cold.
• Remove extra pillows, including decorative ones. No stuffed animals.
• Ideally place an infant between mom and a guard rail, sleeping pad, or wall. Make sure there are no gaps if you use a wall.
• A large body pillow is a low cost way to fill in a gap.
• Place baby on his or her back to sleep.
• Keep your bed low to the ground and place pillows just underneath so that if baby falls they have a soft place to land.

One of the key components of attachment parenting is the family bed. This refers to the sharing of sleeping space among family members, and particularly denotes a mother being physically close to her baby during the night. “Co-sleeping” refers to sleeping in close proximity to one’s baby or child, and could simply mean sleeping in the same room; “bed-sharing,” on the other hand, is literally that – family members sleep in the same bed. Therefore, the family bed does not have to be one enormous mattress; it can be whatever arrangement works for a family that fosters attachment.

The family bed has many physical and emotional benefits, with some cross-overs. Among the emotional benefits are increased trust on the part of the infant, emotional well-being for the mother, and a stable relationship between parent and child (thus setting the stage for healthy relationships later in life). Following is a list of these benefits explained in more detail.

1. Trust
A baby does not understand that you are still “there” when he is sleeping in another room. He may become fearful and distrustful if he wakes at night and his mother is not available. A baby who has his needs met consistently – day or night – learns to trust his parents. The family bed makes the mother available to nurse the baby or simply provide physical contact. The baby then comes to trust his parents and develops a sense of security.

2. If mama’s not happy…
Have you ever heard the saying, “If Mama’s not happy, then nobody’s happy”? There is some truth to that statement! A mother who participates in the family bed gets more sleep than a mother who gets up multiple times during the night, thus making her refreshed and in a much better mood. Also, a mother’s nursing through the night produces “happy hormones” that bond her with her baby and make her feel content.

3. Relationship
The family bed fosters strong relationships. For mothers or fathers who work all day, this may be the only time they get to have physical “cuddle time” with their child. And, once again, the family bed facilitates the breastfeeding relationship, which fosters important, healthful bonds that set the stage for healthy, functional relationships later in life.

4. The human pacemaker
While this is a physical benefit, its emotional ramifications are significant. Statistics show that babies who sleep in a family bed arrangement are far less likely to die of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) than those babies left to sleep alone (this is why SIDS is also called “crib death” or “cot death”). In countries where bed-sharing is common (such as India), SIDS is virtually unknown.

When a baby experiences SIDS, she simply stops breathing inexplicably. Studies from as far back as the mid-1900s have shown that babies who sleep with their mothers actually match their breathing patterns to the mother’s – she is like a human pacemaker for her baby’s breathing. Current research supports these studies from the first half of the 20th century.

While society is still coming to terms with accepting the family bed, the important thing is to choose what is right for your family. There are many benefits to the family bed, and many nay-sayers are simply unaware of such benefits.

There are many arguments against co-sleeping, however one could easily find fault with these arguments.  Many of the arguments address potential problems, such as not sleeping with your child if you have been under the influence of drugs or alcohol, not allowing a toddler to sleep next to an infant, and not sleeping with your child if you suffer from sleeping disorders.  These obstacles are rare or can be overcome with a little creativity or planning.

Most parents who do choose to co-sleep are very responsible adults who choose to sleep with their children to reap the many positive benefits, such as the bond it creates between a parent and a child, the positive sleep pattern it allows into their lives, the ease of breastfeeding a child in the middle of the night.  All of these things paint a wonderful picture of a positive parenting relationship between parent and child. 

Co-sleeping is a natural way of taking care of our children that our ancestors did for many years.  The mothers of children for many years even carried their children around with them throughout the day, never allowing their infant to even leave the comfort and closeness of their bodies during the daytime, much less during the night.  This begs the question, “If it’s not broke, why fix it?”  If this process worked for so many years before us, then why do we question it so quickly today? 

Co-sleeping might not work for everyone, but it is definitely something that should be considered as a positive parenting technique and as an opportunity for a restful nights sleep to be had by all.  If you do decide to co-sleep especially with an infant, there are some precautions to consider.  Do not use heavy bedding, as the infant can suffocate.  Do not allow the infant to sleep on the outer edge where falls can occur.  Investing in bed rails might be a good idea.  Make sure your mattress is on the firm side so that the surface your baby sleeps on is as level as possible. This will help everyone get a restful sleep if they are not tossed when the person next to them turns.

After taking the needed precautions and reviewing the benefits, try the co-sleeping arrangement for yourself and see how rewarding it can be for the whole family.

[tags]cosleeping, family bed, co-sleeping, parents, children, baby[/tags]